By Lauren
This is the start of my travel writing, as promised. The place I went to was the Bay of Fires (love the name), the water is a beautiful blue, the sand is blindingly white, the rocks are red and orange (???), and the water is freeeeeeeeezing (Dad went for a swim, I wouldn't recommend it).
While the landscape was gorgeous, I actually took my inspiration from something Dad said and a house I saw there. Basically, the lookout was at the end of the road. Dad helpfully pointed that out when we got there and I thought it sounded like a cool story title. We drove for ages along this road and were starting to think we'd made a wrong turn when it ended. There was a carpark and a path and a view. There was also a really lovely and well-positioned house, something that I've come to realise is the norm here in Tasmania, most of the houses are like that. So then I combined those two - the house and Dad's comment, and came up with this.
Lily Jones was seven when she moved to The House at The End of The Road.
The prospect of moving had not excited her in the least, in her short life up until that point she had moved house five times and did not believe she’d be staying at this one for long either. Lily had sat solemnly in her booster seat, watching the scenery go by as her parents had driven to their new home.
“This is the last time, sweetheart, I promise,” her Mum had said. Lily hadn’t believed that, she’d been told the same thing the last four times, and it had just become part of the cycle of moving. New house, new school, new friends, settle, move, cry, get told it wouldn’t happen again, repeat. The last time they’d moved, Lily hadn’t bothered to make new friends, as it would just make her cry when she moved again. She knew she wouldn’t make friends this time, either.
For a seven-year-old, Lily was very mature and deep-thinking. She’d learnt to walk and talk early, had taught herself how to get dressed, tie her shoelaces, make breakfast, clean her teeth and go to school, and knew how the washing machine worked better than her parents did. They didn’t notice this, of course, they were too busy arguing.
Three years later, and the Jones family were still in The House at The End of The Road. Lily was now ten. She still had no friends, still felt no attachment to the house and life around it. She passed through school relatively unnoticed, and that was how she liked it. She was unnoticed at home too, but she didn’t like that. Her parents still called her "sweetheart" and said that they loved her, but beyond that they didn't seem to care.
When she was twelve, the Evans family moved in next door. They had twins who were in Lily’s year at school, Bonnie and Toby. They were the sort of kids that everyone instantly felt comfortable with. They were confident, polite, sporty, academic. Nothing like Lily. And they lived in The House at The Not-So-End of The Road. Sometimes, when she was hanging out washing on the line out the front of the house, Lily could see them playing on the rocks and in the water of the beautiful little cove across from her. They always looked so carefree and happy.
They always seemed so different from her.
Lily was always doing the washing. She didn't know why, no-one had ever told her to or taught her how, just one day she'd decided to do it, and had done it ever since. She was hanging it out one day when Bonnie Evans came over.
Bonnie had come right up to where the clothes line was, having seen Lily there on her way to the cove.
"Would you like some help?" she'd asked. Lily had simply stared at her, confused and surprised, until Bonnie said, "You're always here when Toby and I are swimming, yet you never join us. I thought maybe it was because you were too busy with this, I can go if you'd like?"
Lily took a step back, nearly tripping. She righted herself and stuttered, "No... no I'm fine. Not busy."
Bonnie had nodded politely and smiled at her before leaving to join her brother at the cove.
The next time one of the Evans twins talked to her was a month later. She was in the garden, bringing in washing when Toby had come up to her.
"Hi there," he said, "do you want to come for a swim with me and Bonnie?"
Lily shook her head, still scared to make friends. Still doubtful she'd stay in The House at The End of The Road.
"Ok, well, maybe another time?" Toby had asked, "Bonnie and me swim a lot, you can join us whenever. Or if you're not into swimming you could come over and watch a movie. We do that a lot too... actually, we were gonna go out to the movies on Friday, maybe you could come with? Will your parents mind? I can get Mum to talk to them if you want, she's good at talking to people. I'm sure your parents could come too, if they'd rather. I find it strange that we live right next door to you and yet barely know you, don't you?"
"I... umm... not really."
"That's a bit strange. Or is it coz we're still new? That would make sense. So, can you come to the movies? Do you wanna ask your parents now? I can come with you if you'd like, or go get Mum and she can talk to them. I don't know, what would you like?"
"Umm, I don't know." said Lily, panicking. She was desperately trying to figure out how to get Toby to leave. She didn't want to go to the movies with him and Bonnie. She didn't want to make friends with them. Didn't want to get attached.
"Do you even want to go to the movies? I didn't even ask that! Oh I'm sorry, you probably don't want to go, you barely know us. Is that right?"
She nodded, taking this opportunity to escape the Evans' friendship with both hands.
"Fair enough. How 'bout this, I'll keep coming around when you're in the garden, and then we'll get to know each other. I'll see if Bonnie wants to come too sometimes and then eventually we can all go to the movies together, how's that sound?"
"Ummm..."
But then Toby's Mum had called him back to his house before she could reply.
"Ok, well I gotta go, but we'll do that. Whenever Bonnie or I see you, we'll come talk to you. See ya!"
With that, Toby was gone. And without saying barely a sentence, Lily had gotten herself stuck in a permanent friendship contract that she knew could only end badly.
As promised, at least once a week from then on, one or both of the Evans twins found an excuse to come talk to Lily. She tried to be as non-committal as possible, tried to be so boring that they gave up. But they didn't give up, and slowly Lily began to open up, to enjoy their company and actually talk to them. A year later and they were almost friends. She never went to the movies or down to the cove with them, she never talked to them at school, but try as she might to avoid it, they were becoming friends. This terrified Lily, although it was now six years since they'd moved into The House at The End of The Road she was still afraid of becoming attached, in case she lost it all again.
"Why do you never come with us to the cove?" Bonnie had asked once, to which Lily had answered, "Because I don't want to become attached to something I might lose." That had confused Bonnie, who quickly changed the subject, but Lily kept thinking about her answer, how she'd answered fully and truthfully for the first time in over six years, how she'd felt comfortable with sharing that with Bonnie, even if Bonnie hadn't understood.
A week later, Bonnie asked what she'd meant by not wanting to become attached to something she might lose.
"It's like this," Lily had said, deciding to answer properly again, "When you grow to like something enough times, only for it to be taken away each time, you realise how foolish it is to become attached to anything at all, because you're going to lose it one day, and that's going to make you sad, so what's the point? I don't want to enjoy going down to the cove with you, because when it's taken away, it's going to hurt."
"But if you don't get attached to anything, you've got nothing to enjoy!" Bonnie argued, "You might never be sad, but if you're also never happy, then what's the point?"
Lily had just shaken her head and the topic was dropped. Only for Toby to pick it back up again the next day.
"Bonnie told me that you don't wanna come to the cove with us coz it's gonna make you sad if for some reason one day you won't be able to," he'd said.
"I don't expect you to understand, you haven't lost as much as I have," she'd answered
"I don't think it matters how much you lose, it only hurts for a little bit. Then it goes away and you're happy again, coz you got the memories."
Lily had just shaken her head again, but that night she'd found herself turning Toby's words over in her head, it only hurts for a little bit, then it goes away. Then she'd done something she'd never done before. She'd snuck out the window.
Lily went down to the cove in her pyjamas. When she reached the water's edge she turned back around and looked at the house. She'd never realised how beautiful it was. She'd never realised how beautiful the cove was, either. She thought back to what the Evans twins had told her.
"It only hurts for a little bit"
"You might never be sad, but if you're also never happy, then what's the point?"
"...you're happy again, coz you got the memories"
The memories. Lily tried to remember the friends she'd made when she was five, and had moved into the apartment at the top of the biggest building she'd ever seen. The building had had a swimming pool and a playground and she'd loved it. She'd also loved her friends. Lily caught herself smiling at the memory.
"...you're happy again, coz you got the memories"
"...you're happy again..."
When was the last time she'd been happy? Like, actually happy?
After that, and with more convincing from the Evans twins, Lily began to grow attached to them and the house... her House at The End of The Road. Years went by, Lily was now sixteen, Toby was her best friend, with Bonnie coming in close second. Her parents were still the same, but she'd lived with that her whole life anyway. Finally, finally after all those years, she was happy again.
Then Bonnie and Toby came over, tears in their eyes, and told Lily they were moving away. Moving far away, and were never coming back.
The night the Evans left was the worst night of Lily's life. She'd hugged them goodbye, and stood in their empty driveway and waved even when she couldn't see them anymore. Then she'd gone down to the cove. She'd cried and cried to the stars, for they were the only ones who'd listen, now her two best friends were gone.
"You got the memories"
She did, but that was all.
"It only hurts for a little bit"
That may be so, but it hurts so much. What's the point?
"What's the point?"
"You may never be sad, but if you're also never happy, what's the point?"
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